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Everyone listening to the city police radio heard an officer report that he had stopped a driver who he thought might be under the influence. Standard procedure required the officer to give the driver a breath test, for which the driver was asked to breathe (blow) into a straw. The nervous officer’s tongue fumbled as he announced, “I will be out of the car blowing this guy.” His cheerful buddies say this fake officer will never live this down.

One guy decided to go against the rules when going for drills as they were on a mission. Normally, when you go for tour for booty, you have to take off all your craps when you get here. This military guy decided to sneak his watch through the Indic. He managed to escape the drill instructors for some time but not forever. One day, the drill instructors spotted him wearing it and put him in a bay squad trashcan. This was not enough. The brought the trashcan lid and put in on it. He was also commanded to yell “Sir, the time on the desk is zero-nine-forty-five” every time they passed by and kicked it.

I used to frequent a certain nuru kind of massage parlor in my town, and since I know the girls work hard, and I pay them well, I had gotten a reputation as a big tipper. As I was waiting in the lobby, a woman came in to lead me to my room. Before she could do so, another masseuse entered and said, “No, this one is mine tonight.” The women started arguing heatedly, and it turned into a full on fist fight, with shirts coming off. I felt so bad, I ended up getting two massages that night: one from each!

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